june, is tired, exhausted and living in surrealism. she has been sleeping for only 4 hours a day for the past week and she is clearly talking about herself as a third party. btw, its her favorite day of the week - frrrriday. remember to roll the R.
she's been home on drinks that she was not agreeable with but definitely justified upon. how do you even say no on such an occasion, where determination has never been a problem. she has seen life in a different light and that it was never as simple as she thought it would be. she just called her bff to talk about it but she isn't brave enough to listen to a feedback. she prefers to knock out now and deal with it tomorrow, or any other convenient day.
she's twenty two but she knows that she functions like a thirty year old, growing up with a family who is at least eight year older than her, who ensures that she is more mature and ready for the world, who inspires to work hard young to enable her to retire young.
perhaps she isn't old enough by age to consolidate on the things she has known. like no matter what, perhaps she's not supposed to have understood, that the phase is now and not then.
today, its not only white and black, its grey. today, she just saw what she is capable of and she is stunned and dumbfounded. she just wants to be silent and listen, just listen, just hear the voice that has been hiding itself, that knew it all along.
today, she finally understood what her parents have been worried about.
because today, she's worried about what her parents were worried about.
i want to go back to simplicity, just the you and me and nothing else in the world.
june flew @ 2:33 AM
Sunday, November 15, 2009
saturday night.
i am pledging all my time to the cfa exam now. i have just got to got to pass it and i've decided that no matter how many times i fail it i'm going to retake it till i pass it. you just need one of those as a gateway to the banking industry though not many experienced people in malaysia see the point of it (that's cause they didn't do it), i believe its a plus point to have. not to mention a higher pay + looks sexy.
June Lee, CFA.
I LIKE.
malaysia - so much potential for growth and improvement. how can we play a role in it?
#1 awareness. something like reading the newspaper on a daily basis at least cause the world doesn't only revolve around you and stop having that malignant mentality of "knowing only your job/industry". we are a living community which connects and reconnects, again and again. its not "cool" to not know or care - its dumb.
#2 education. learn, learn and learn more. the world is revolving and shifting everyday, why aren't you? my brother had his first mobile at 20 (the kind it was so huge you could knock some one out with it), i had mine at 12 (which i worshiped day and night) and kids these days are having theirs at 6. we were using dial up, adsl, broadband, wireless and now its wimax - isn't it amazing?
#3 an initiative. the whole passive attitude of allowing others to dictate your fate is disturbing. hold your life in your own reins and have an opinion. its okay, we're not going to judge, speak up, i'd like to hear it. i'm no better than you are and i know nothing more than you. perhaps we could share a thought together and surprise ourselves. ignorance is so last year.
#4 stop gossiping. its a waste of time, effort and a deterioration of health. her 10 carat diamond isn't going to make you any better or happier. she has the new chanel and not you, get over it. how his girlfriend left him isn't funny (i hate hitz.fm gotcha morning calls - whats the point of making others look like a fool). and aren't you old enough to believe in karma.
#5 efficiency. if you know the peak hour to work is at 8-9am and 5-6pm, why do you still do the same thing everyday by getting stuck in the jam? wake up earlier, drive out earlier or take a train. take preventive measures and don't give in to the masses. it pays to do things differently for yourself, but not at the expense of others. please don't road rage, i'm scared. also imagine the amount of time you're wasting each day 2 hrs*100 days = 200 hrs boo.
#6 objective perspective. no bias, chauvinistic, racist, irrational and uninformed decisions. you're not going to promote him because he is younger than you? and you hate her because she's hotter than you? its about deserving it via the performance and not the hierarchy. its not fair, so work it and stop getting comfortable on your spot!
#7 reward your talents right. obviously i'm going to be a crony and siphon money if i'm being paid crap. and obviously, i'm never ever going to work for the government because there isn't any incentive to help them (aside being patriotic). we need to pay our government servants so freaking much that they are going to look at corruption in the eye sharply and say NO. and very talented people i know wouldn't even come home after an overseas education.
#8 an open mind. take a walk on the wild side. try something new today, re-energize your creativity juice from all that stagnant, mundane routine. break out of the box, its okay to be different, we're not meant to be the same. make a mistake, apologize, start again. be shameless - why not? ignite the passion that you once had.
#9 sincerity. help genuinely, refuse tactfully and argue in politically correct ways. say no if you can't, fulfill your capacity because you promised. the fact is that, whether you like it or not, your reputation goes around like wild fire. its hard to please everyone but the least you need to do is be honest about it. there is always sustainability in the truth.
#10 relax well. we're not walking robots, dictated by others. we get burnt out from work/life and we are entitled to party in our own ways. be it playing the ps3 (slim version wor), drinking, chilling with friends, having procreative activities (fornication), going to the gym, sleeping, mahjong, whatever. its your own time, your personal outlet, go crazy. but don't forget to come home to reality!
#11 responsibility. personally, i'm a sister, daughter, aunt, grand daughter, cousin and niece. to the world, i'm an educated social corporate citizen, worker and colleague. and if i took a shit (defaecate, for a more sophisticated ambiance) in the public toilet and forgot to flush it, someone is going to have to catch a glimpse and odor of my personal/private product (like literally forced to check it out). poor thing right. and omg, were you not potty trained?
this list is not exhaustive and it is not ranked. i just want it to be a better place, it doesn't have to be now, all it has to be is progressing. thats me and my caffeinated optimism talking.
anyways i'm thinking of going to america next june to visit chiewmei, ven + cile. would i have enough money from work by then? anyone wants to go with me? i still owe ven a set of headphones :(
this thursday, maxis re-lists - i'm apprehensive about the overhype but lets watch ~ thrilled
why is my freaky neighbour down the hill having some kind of hardcore fengtao house session tonight?
"getchor freak on"
june flew @ 1:15 AM
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Rihanna - Slower To Heal
Over night, oh, over night, oh.
I wish the pain would go away I wish they'd find a cure today I asked the doctor what it means He said things ain't as bad as what they seem My heart is workin' over time To mend it's broken side And it's hard for me to see the light Cause I'm stuck At least that's what it feels like
Slower to heal, Slower to heal Don't want to feel the way I feel (don't want to feel) Wish I could kill this pain that I feel (right away) But it don't happen that way, ever
It's not gon' happen over night, over night, over night I wont get better over night, over night, over night It's not gon' happen over night, over night, over night I wont get better over night, over night, over night So I'm slower to heal
It's like I'm in a traffic jam (traffic jam) Getting pulled out of quick sand (out of quick sand) I'm like an only planted tree I wish that you could find it in yourself to be patient with me
Slower to heal, Slower to heal Don't want to feel the way I feel (don't want to feel) Wish I could kill this pain that I feel (right away) But it don't happen that way, ever
It's not gon' happen over night, over night, over night I wont get better over night, over night, over night It's not gon' happen over night, over night, over night I wont get better over night, over night, over night
I'm Slower to heal, Slower to heal Don't want to feel the way I feel (don't want to feel) Wish I could kill this pain that I feel (right away) But it don't happen that way, ever
I'm Slower to heal, Slower to heal Don't want to feel the way I feel (don't want to feel) Wish I could kill this pain that I feel (right away) But it don't happen that way, ever
It's not gon' happen over night, over night, over night I wont get better over night, over night, over night It's not gon' happen over night, over night, over night I wont get better over night, over night, over night It's not gon' happen over night, over night, over night I wont get better over night, over night, over night It's not gon' happen over night, over night, over night I wont get better over night, over night, over night So I'm slower to heal
wye lum flew @ 11:09 PM
BURY ME ALIVE
I MISSED A TRADE TODAY
I WANT TO DIE
DIE
DIE
DIE.
june flew @ 10:12 PM
Friday, November 06, 2009
my lousy days.
i am in a state of in betweens, and i really need alot of comfort in the things I do, the things I hear and the things I'm told. I am not being practical or logical or rational or anything that you may have always gotten or expected of me, but I am in a state of disbelief over everything, especially over recent issues.
I needed support when I called, I needed someone to listen and someone to care for that one moment when my world literally turned upside down. I think what I'm trying to say is no one was there when I felt absolutely devastated. I wouldn't have called during work otherwise. But work is work and I understand. I really do. It was something i couldn't help.
I'm not trying to avoid, but at this point of time I need to be in a very very supportive and supported place. The calls and texts has gone unanswered because I felt hurt, but it is something only from my side because of how i felt at that point of time. I am sorry, i really really am. If I has called at another more appropriate time, I wouldn't be feeling this way and you would have time for me. But it happened, and I'm slightly hurt. I need support, especially yours because I feel like I'm going through a rough time now. So i hope you understand, and give me the space I need to get over everything. I can't even text because I can't deal with a reply, thats how irrational I am right now.
and it is so unfair because I am only 22.
I am looking forward to our next caramel indulgence.
wye lum flew @ 10:34 PM
Tuesday, November 03, 2009
Catching up
it has been a good week. I have not only managed to consistently eat till I drop from Monday to Sunday, but I've managed to catch up with alot of old friends that I (regretfully) do not see as often as I would like to.
The interviews are flowing in like crazy and i thought i was done with proposals and shit like that but its just starting babeh. where I can be in and what I want to do, 2 entirely different things pulling me in 2 different directions. Cocacola was such a tempting offer and it was such a hard decision to make and no matter what anyone says I strongly believe in self preservation, self confidence and doing what you know you do best.
and so,
I am done with my proposal for tomorrow, thanks to the endless unreplied nudges to IAN TAI YOU SUCKER hahahaa thank you for your help. I am now creative-exhausted. i don't do jokes (not like the ones I make are ever funny)
And moving on to the bazaar plan. its amazing how a new projects gets me hyped pumped up all ready for the new challenge because doing it is never as easy as saying it. chien yee, cross yaa fingers for my kick ass proposal! maybe not so kick ass, but, interesting enough to kick start?
it amazes me how I do what I do, and yet everyday its make up the same way, the same jeans, same top in different colours, same hair style, same shoes, same accesorries. the only difference is the bags and the maxi dresses. haha.
I WANT ROBERT PATTINSON.
wye lum flew @ 1:21 AM
Monday, November 02, 2009
i got it. after 2 months, i got it.
i was finding my passion, but my passion found me first.
i just found a cure/solution to lengthen 10 years of my life.
btw, i'm not allowed to go to work cause i have conjunctivities wtf. hence the late night surfing.
i think commodities annoy me.
june flew @ 1:54 AM
Thursday, October 29, 2009
bffs
happy birthday lummy - for the 12 years of friendship we've shared, the nonsense you had to put up with; i can be very volatile and messy yes, the dreams and ambitions we've exchanged, phases we've move in and out of and the gazillion secrets we hold each other by. today is a blessing.
cheers.
for everything we've grown to be, and more to come.
june loves you.
june flew @ 11:41 PM
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
high.
i can't sleep.
i want to do so many so many so many so many things i'm so so sosoo excited.
